To stay safe, many survivors create masks. This article explores the false self (masking, hyper‑adaptability, dissociative identity structures, and role‑based self‑worth) and how to gently reconnect with the authentic self.
II. The Survival
Internal Working Models, Schemas & Identity
Trauma doesn’t just wound; it writes stories. This article explores how chronic betrayal during incest shapes internal working models and schemas (beliefs about self, others, and the world) and how we can rewrite them.
Psychological Defense Mechanisms: Learned Strategies
Defense mechanisms like people‑pleasing, hypervigilance, and emotional numbing are not personality flaws but learned strategies. This article explores common defenses developed in incest and how they shape adult behaviors.
Dissociation & Fragmentation: The Mind’s Immediate Defense
When pain is unbearable, the mind finds ways to divide and distance. This article explores dissociative processes (structural dissociation, depersonalization, amnesia, switching, and functional numbing) and how they both protect and confound survivors of incest.
Trauma Responses: The Body’s Immediate Reflexes
When danger arrives, your body doesn’t ask permission—it reacts. This article explores how fight, flight, freeze, fawn, submission, and triggering instincts serve as life‑saving reflexes, and how understanding them can ease shame and restore agency.
The Protection Patterns of Survival
Our bodies and minds are wired for survival. This article explores the myriad ways survivors of incest learned to fight, flee, freeze, fawn, and fragment. Understanding these responses as ingenious adaptations allows us to honor them while gently inviting change.
Why You Reenact the Old Pain of Incest Trauma in New Love
You don’t repeat old pain because you’re broken, you repeat it because your nervous system is trying to resolve a wound it wasn’t safe enough to understand the first time.
Understanding the Responses to Incest Trauma: Fight, Flight, Flee, Fawn
Your trauma responses are not flaws, they are the brilliant survival codes your body created to protect you long before you had words for what was happening.
Understanding “Objectlessness” in Incest Survivors
Object Relations Theory & The Hollow Spaces Inside Us When we grow up, the people who raise us become mirrors, our first reflections of love, safety, and belonging. They are our “objects,” as Object Relations Theory calls them, not in the cold, inanimate sense of the word, but as emotional anchors that help us form our sense of self and others. For most children, these relationships are the scaffolding of security. But for survivors of incest, those scaffolds were built on betrayal. The very people meant to nurture us were also the ones who hurt us in the most intimately personal way….
Why Self-Love Can Be Difficult for Incest Survivors
When love once meant pain, learning to love yourself becomes an act of rebellion and rebirth.
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or mental health professional. I am a trauma survivor. If you need help, please seek the services of a licensed professional (see my Resources Page for suggestions). The contents of this website are for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Information on this page might not be accurate or up-to-date. Accordingly, this page should not be used as a diagnosis of any medical illness, mental or physical. This page is also not a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, or any other type of medical advice. Some topics discussed on this website could be upsetting. If you are triggered by this website’s content you should seek the services of a trained and licensed professional.