You are not failing at love. You are trying to meet a biological need in a culture that has taught you performance instead of connection.
Love Without Games
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Holey Theory
Common Theoretical Questions About Holey Theory
You are not broken. You are organized around survival. Holey Theory explains why trauma reshapes identity, why insight alone doesn’t heal, and how coherence can be rebuilt; lawfully, measurably, and without shame.
The Philosophical Implications of Holey Theory
Holey Theory reframes trauma as an entropic rupture within the self-system and healing as a negentropic process of reintegration. This philosophical model challenges traditional views of free will, suffering, and the soul, offering a trauma-informed framework in which agency expands with coherence, meaning emerges through integration, and the soul functions as an organizing attractor rather than a damaged essence.
Holey Theory Assessment: Map the Entropy and Coherence of Your Soul
The Holey Theory Self-Assessment helps you map the real impact of trauma on your body, emotions, and inner world. Instead of labeling you as “broken,” this tool measures how much chaos your system has carried, and how much coherence you’ve already built. Discover your Entropy Index, your Coherence Index, and your Holey Soul score in a gentle, survivor-centered way.
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or mental health professional. I am a trauma survivor. If you need help, please seek the services of a licensed professional (see my Resources Page for suggestions). The contents of this website are for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Information on this page might not be accurate or up-to-date. Accordingly, this page should not be used as a diagnosis of any medical illness, mental or physical. This page is also not a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, or any other type of medical advice. Some topics discussed on this website could be upsetting. If you are triggered by this website’s content you should seek the services of a trained and licensed professional.