The Corruption of the Collective Conscious

If you’re suffering right now, you’re in the right place.

Do you feel like you’ve been invisible your entire life?

Do you feel like you don’t belong in this world? Like no one cares as much as you do? Like the whole world is heartless and cruel?

Are you in agony from rejection, invalidation, manipulation, humiliation, criticism, contempt, abandonment, gaslighting, isolation, or abuse?

Do you feel like you’re a kind and considerate person, with a forgiving and genuine heart, yet people keep treating you as if you don’t matter? Are you being treated as if your needs aren’t important? That your feelings are wrong? That something is wrong with you?

Do people make you feel like you’re not good enough, yet at the same time you’re too much? Are you ridiculed anytime you try to open up, express yourself, or ask for help? Do you feel judged when you try to open up and express the way you feel?

Are you being condemned and ridiculed anytime you try to talk about your past pain or trauma? Have you been accused of being too emotional, having a victim mentality, or desiring a pity party just for wanting to express yourself and open up about your past?

Are you getting sick of hearing people tell you to get over it? Yet, you feel like you’ve moved on and are only trying to get close and be vulnerable about where you came from and how it’s affected you.

Do people keep lying to you, disrespecting you, taking you for granted, and not appreciating everything you do for them and the kindness that you show them? Do you feel like you’re being used, treated like a doormat, and don’t deserve it?

Have you gone your entire life feeling like you’ve never been loved right and fear that no one will ever love you, understand you, or care to know you? Do you feel like people are blind to your value and treat you like you’re unworthy? Yet, those same people who make you feel so worthless will turn around and show love and respect to someone abusive, toxic, and uncaring toward them.

Is it driving you crazy trying to figure out what’s wrong with people and what’s wrong with you? Why can’t you invoke the desire for people to treat you right? Why is it so easy for other people to be treated fairly but you keep getting screwed over?

Are you sick of hearing useless advice like “You gotta love yourself first”, “you need to teach people how to treat you”, “you shouldn’t let it bother you”,  “No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to”, “you need to get over it”, “you’re overreacting “, “you’re too emotional”, or “you need to control yourself”.

If you are over being treated this way and feeling like this, then you’re in the right place.

I can help you. I promise to give you all the answers you’ve been looking for. It’s not going to be easy. You’re going to need to be brutally honest with yourself. You’ll have to examine moments in your life that you have fought to forget. And it’s going to hurt. A lot. But I promise you that it’ll be worth it. On the other side of this misery is everything you know in your heart that you deserve and are worthy of.

But first I need you to promise me one thing, because nothing will change if you can’t be 100% committed to keeping this promise…

Simply put, this website is about trauma. In the pages to come, you will find information about the symptoms of trauma, the long-term effects trauma has on your relationships and your life, information about trauma’s connection to mental illness, and resources to help you heal.

The signs and symptoms of trauma are slippery little sneaky buggers to pin down. Acknowledging the long-term effects of trauma may take some individuals decades, while others will die never understanding the impact that trauma has had on their life, their well-being, and their loved ones.

The pain I felt forced me to face the reality of the impact that trauma had on my life. I had been suffering for so long that I wasn’t able to take it anymore. I knew there was something “wrong with me,” but I was never able to identify what it was. I couldn’t relate to other people and they didn’t understand me.

I honestly never suspected that trauma was at the core of my issues. I believed that I had dealt with and had “gotten over” all of the things I went through. I was in denial of the number of problems I had.

The name “Holey House” refers to the soul. When we are born our spirit is full and healthy. As we live and suffer through trauma, our soul energy is hacked away. With each new injury, the core of our being takes on more damage. I envision it like a once majestic tree that has been hammered away by woodpeckers. Over the years, these holes have turned the soul into something that looks a lot like Swiss cheese. Repeated, prolonged, and extensive trauma turns what was once holy into something that is now holey.

Many of us, including myself, attempt to fill these holes. We try to ignore these holes. We search for answers in all of the wrong places to heal these holes. Our efforts are in vain and along the way we take on additional damage.

There is only one way that a damaged soul is able to heal. That is through careful examination of the injury itself and confronting the lie that we have embodied as truth as a result of it. While it is ideal to have the support of friends, family, or even a lover to help you on this painful journey it’s unfortunately rare to find an individual healthy enough or willing enough to accompany you.

Holey House is my attempt at a solution. It is my hope that I can share with you everything I’ve learned on my path to healing. I will share with you everything I’ve discovered thus far on my journey, so that you may heal even faster. The more you are able to understand the nature of your traumas and the long-term effects they still have on you the better position you will be in to finally heal all of your souls holes.