I see you. I feel your struggles, the way you keep choosing relationships where you’re not valued, where your kindness is taken for weakness, where your loyalty is disregarded, and your forgiving heart is used against you. This isn’t because you’re stupid, or weak, or flawed. It’s because you’re wounded. Because somewhere along the way, you came to believe that this kind of love is all you deserve.

When we grow up without seeing what healthy, reciprocal love looks like, we confuse chaos with passion, control with care, and self abandonment with loyalty. We carry forward a script that says we must suffer in order to be worthy of affection, or that we must perform perfectly to earn love.

We pursue people who reflect back to us the messages we absorbed as children, messages that we are not enough, or that we must pay a price for connection and understanding.

This pattern isn’t a life sentence. Healing is possible. It starts with honoring your own worth, choosing peace over familiarity, and rewriting your own story. Healing involves looking inward, peeling back the defenses, and extending compassion to your wounded self. It’s a process, messy, painful, and filled with uncertainty, but it’s a process that brings you back to yourself. Because you, more than anyone, deserve a love that is kind, honoring, passionate, and true.

Breaking free starts by recognizing these patterns. It involves honoring your own worth, honoring your ability to say no, honoring your peace. Healing happens when we become conscious of the stories we’ve internalized and choosing to release them, piece by piece. This might include therapy, journaling, affirmations, setting healthy boundaries, and choosing relationships that reflect the love you wish for yourself. Healing is not a straight path, it’s a spiral, but each step forward brings you closer to transformation, peace, and the deep, healthy connection you truly deserve.