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I Pray

by Candice Brazil | Jun 14, 2024 | Poetry

SAFETY NOTICE: This section contains imagery and language that may stir memories or sensations. Pause anytime. Breathe. Ground in your body. You are safe to step away. You don’t have to finish every story. You are in control of how much you consume. Don't allow my pain to consume you.

When you said you were on your way.
I knew you didn't mean you were coming to stay.
I knew you'd only be around a few days.
I knew your ways.
I knew the games you couldn't help but play.
You were the predator. I was the prey.
So I pray.

I pray that what I value I never betray.
I pray I move with purpose on a path I'll never stray.
I pray for love. To never again be cast away.
I pray that when you beckon me again I'll have the strength to disobey.
I pray that none of my tomorrows feel as bad as yesterday.
I pray that my desire for you to desire me too goes away.
I pray this heartache fades away.
I pray I can heal the pieces of my heart left to languish and decay.

I don't pray you stay.
It's a pain I never wish to replay.
So, go away.
Just remember, one day.
Someday.
When you become the one loving those who never intend to stay.
You will long for the depth of love you naively tossed away.

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or mental health professional. I am a trauma survivor. If you need help, please seek the services of a licensed professional (see my Resources Page for suggestions). The contents of this website are for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Information on this page might not be accurate or up-to-date. Accordingly, this page should not be used as a diagnosis of any medical illness, mental or physical. This page is also not a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, or any other type of medical advice.  Some topics discussed on this website could be upsetting. If you are triggered by this website’s content you should seek the services of a trained and licensed professional.

Written by Candice Brazil

Author. Artist. Healer. Survivor. After awakening from what I call my Trauma Coma, I realized that nearly everything I believed about myself was shaped by unresolved trauma. Today, I help others heal from the invisible wounds of incest and betrayal trauma. Holey House was born from my own healing journey. It's a sacred space where souls with holes can transform their pain into purpose, their wounds into wisdom, and their shame into light. From holey to holy, this is where we remember who we were before the wound.

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