A list of characteristics, behaviors, and relational patterns that do not align with a survivor’s healing.
A Word of Caution for Anyone Who Loves (or Wants to Love) an Incest Survivor
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For Partners
Partner Well-Being, Emotional Health & Boundary Care
You can’t support an incest survivor sustainably unless you protect your own emotional health, boundaries, and well-being with the same tenderness you offer them.
Supporting the Survivor’s Healing Journey Without Overstepping
You can’t heal your partner’s trauma, but you can become the steady, compassionate presence that makes healing safe enough to happen.
Understanding Reenactments in Love, Attachment & Conflict
Reenactments aren’t signs of incompatibility, they’re trauma patterns that dissolve the moment both partners stop personalizing them and start understanding their roots.
Boundaries, Autonomy & Healthy Interdependence
Healthy boundaries transform a trauma-affected relationship from a cycle of over-functioning and collapse into a balanced, mutual, sustainable partnership.
Communication, Conflict & Emotional Connection
Emotional connection with an incest survivor blossoms when communication becomes a place of safety instead of a battlefield of misunderstood triggers.
Navigating Intimacy, Sexuality & the Survivor’s Relationship with Their Body
Intimacy with an incest survivor becomes healing, not retraumatizing, when partners learn to replace pressure with presence and assumption with attunement.
Safety, Trust & Emotional Stability in the Relationship
Safety for an incest survivor isn’t built through reassurance, it’s built through consistent, attuned, predictable presence over time.
Understanding Incest Trauma & Its Invisible Impact on Relationships
Understanding your partner’s trauma responses isn’t about walking on eggshells, it’s about finally seeing the wounds they’ve carried alone for far too long.
What Incest Survivors Wish Non-Survivors Understood About How Incest Trauma Alters Your Thoughts, Feelings, Body, and Relationships
You can’t see it when you pass us on the street. You won’t hear it in casual conversation. But those of us who’ve survived incest live with an invisible inheritance, one that reshapes how we think, feel, inhabit our bodies, and connect with others. For many of us, the…
Safety Needs: Why Incest Survivors Require More to Feel Secure in Love
For incest survivors, safety goes far beyond the basics. This article is written for those who love survivors and want to understand why we sometimes ask for things that seem excessive to someone who hasn’t lived through what we have.
Men Want Peace, Incest Survivors Need Safety
Incest survivors need to feel safe in their relationship before there can ever be peace.
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or mental health professional. I am a trauma survivor. If you need help, please seek the services of a licensed professional (see my Resources Page for suggestions). The contents of this website are for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Information on this page might not be accurate or up-to-date. Accordingly, this page should not be used as a diagnosis of any medical illness, mental or physical. This page is also not a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, or any other type of medical advice. Some topics discussed on this website could be upsetting. If you are triggered by this website’s content you should seek the services of a trained and licensed professional.